My world is darker today than it was yesterday. Every day the light slips silently away, a sliver gone here, a sliver gone there. No, it isn’t just a cloud covered winter sky, or a dimming bulb which should be replaced. It is my country and the way of life, as I know it.
Anyone with a psychology background can tell you that a middle child tends to be fairness obsessed, reacting to not having the rights of the first born or the privileges of the last child. Lack of attention, due to siblings who command the stage, forces the middle child to try to find their way, diplomatically, catering to others first before themselves, and to achieve approval and longed for attention. They distance themselves from controversy and shy away from disagreements in order to stay neutral and loved. They work extra hard to earn a ‘place at the table’. Observing and looking at all sides, they actively seek out the positive or something to learn.
I am a middle child, and this happens to be my DNA.
As I get older, I am beginning to understand myself more and more. I have learned from life experiences to trust my deepest instincts, choose my battles wisely, and above all listen. I have learned through many instances where keen observation saved me and rescued me from trouble or sadness. By looking at body language, listening to voice intonation, while chewing, swallowing, and digesting the words of others, I can sense depth and meaning… or lack there of.
So when Nov. 8th came and went, I made every effort to accept what I couldn’t change. I spent time listening carefully to our new president and searched for a glimmer of something positive, a fragment of light, which might reassure my worried mind.
I hear and see nothing.
Nothing but a magician’s slight of hand and a pretense to be presidential with no air of diplomacy, statesmanship, or simple tact.
I am not a sore loser or whining because my presidential candidate didn’t win. I don’t want to argue and spew my side to anyone who will give me their ear, but I am frightened for the future of my beloved country. Sadly, I observe a detrimental darkness creeping in.
So, last weekend I traveled on a crowded bus to March On Washington. At the time, I was positive and upbeat. I was marching FOR the many rights I feared may be lost. I marched for those whose voices were being silenced. I marched in solidarity with those that believe as I do and fear as I do. It was a powerful moment for me. I have no accurate words to describe it to help you see. But I knew in my tired, weary, sleep deprived heart and soul, our democracy was at work.
Now, after one week of presidency, I have witnessed rights being taken away, one after the other.
I refuse to ignore the daily lies from our administration; the refusal to accept science; the destruction of our education system; the marginalizing of minorities; the spread of fear to control; and the break down of our ability to report what is happening before our very eyes. It is not liberal or conservative, it is not about my beliefs and your beliefs…..it is about the very fabric of our democracy.
I continue to read the news daily from every source I can get my hands on. I watch and worry. I worry for my family and the future of my country, and my planet. I now have my elected officials on speed dial and have been calling often. I am ready to fight for my rights and the rights of others. Being combative is against everything I am, but I recognize the importance of every voice, including my own.
Today, I read an article by Allen Clifton (Forward Progressives) that confirmed what my gut knew all along…
“…Even Hillary Clinton at her worst wasn’t going to ban Muslims; strip away any language on climate change from the White House website; place gag orders on the EPA; defend an enemy who attacked us; cry “fake news”; or appoint people to run key government departments who have a history of opposing those departments.
In today’s political world a flawed Democrat is always better than a Republican.
EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.”
I am determined to move beyond the ugly shadows of this creeping darkness.
I worry about all the negativity seeping into my brain and my heart. Trying to change it, I attended an uplifting meeting for the Atlanta Compassion Community. I learned about the many kind acts of others, the inspiring ideas for becoming a more compassionate city, and observed people who exhaled concern for others naturally. I wanted to find a glimmer of hope in others. I wanted to find strength in others. I wanted to find courage in others. I was heartened and uplifted by these individuals. It reminded me of the good which takes place every minute.
Now I need for this experience to take seed in me, germinate, and grow.
I have been listening to this empowering song on repeat. This song strengthens me as a woman and reminds me of the powerful social movement that began with a Women’s March on Washington.
We cannot grow tired, we cannot be complacent, and we cannot be silent.
Because…they are counting on it.
Empress Of-Woman Is A Word
“…I’m only a struggle if I get in your way
I’m only a struggle if I get in your way
I’m only a struggle if I get in your way
You made the road
Made the road one-way…”