On this very dank gray day in Atlanta, my mood mimics the outside. I am a little weepy, moody, and generally not at my best today. It is a day that I can thankfully hideout inside my warm house and gather up my gumption to accomplish all of those little, but important, tasks that need immediate attention.
Even though I have every intention of knocking out my action list, I find my mind wandering all over the place. Daydreaming of better times, happy places, and sunshine warmth on my face. Longing for the days in my life where love surrounded me, family, friends, and even an attentive puppy that hoped for a ball to be thrown every second.
We are all in a little funk with the cold outside, the holidays over, and life moving on. I have important projects coming faster and more furiously than needed. This month is a biggie for me, and for a lot of amazing hardworking people that have been putting their nose to the grindstone on an important fund raiser for a year. I want to help and cross all of my t’s and dot all of my i’s. But today, I dream and emotionally recover from speaking my heart to a generously kind listening audience. I am getting my grip back together and have a renewed fire in my belly to work my hardest and help create some positive results.
Whew….right now, I think I will just close my eyes and listen…..
This song is the perfect song for this kind of daydreaming, wishing for more, and heart full of love and longing day. Perfectly laid back and dreamy.
https://soundcloud.com/joytechi_music/ben-howard-conrad-official-audio
Today, I worry about the word obligation and when I think about it, it makes me shudder…. I want to act from my heart always and not feel indebted to a person, or a cause, or a moment. Conversation happens because you reach out and speak, not because it is a chore or something expected. People should only clap out of genuine joy and appreciation. One should hug because they feel an overwhelming need to connect. Working hard for a cause should come from the depth of a desire to make a difference, not a burden of obligation.
My heart is committed to many things and yet, I question it constantly. I am human.
On a rainy day like today, I worry that I am just not enough.
“Oh climb out
Out enough to see
The curl of the world,
Oh we’re alone
Just like you said
cold cold world….”
The master guitarist and singer songwriter is Ben Howard. This lovely track, “Conrad” from the recently released album, I Forget Where We Were, is a dreamy, melancholy song that penetrates my mind, heart, and soul. Yes, we are alone but always hoping to reach out and find the boat that bridges. This beautiful song suggests that there might be a boat that can bridge that fear of not being enough and feeling alone. Do you need a boat? I need a boat sometimes. At least that is my interpretation today, on this very gray day.
Ben Howard is from England and was heavily influenced by his parents musical collection of Joni Mitchell, Simon and Garfunkel, and Van Morrison. Writing songs at age 11, he started playing guitar because he liked to put words together and make stuff up. He has become an incredible folk-indie treasure to the thoughtful music listener.
His voice lulls me into a trance of peace and tranquility. I will arise from listening with renewed assurance that I will do my best, be my best, and that should be enough. Enough for friends to care, loved ones to love, and heartfelt projects to succeed. With that unending support, I will forget any fear and insecurity that comes my way. Tomorrow will be a new day and I will be re-energized to forge on.
