Mood Monday
It has been a quiet day for me.
I experienced almost a full day of alone time. You know, the much needed time to reflect, dream, plan, and act. I sometimes don’t allow myself the luxury of real alone time. I am always checking on others, working on projects, creating new ventures, and completing to-do tasks. So, today was a nice gift.
I don’t really want too much time alone, or even too much time with others.
I want just enough of each.
A healthy outlook and a healthy life is a unique balance of social connection and quiet time, alone. When I am given the freedom to be alone on occasion, I find I am infinitely better at being with others. This time always becomes the important fuel that helps all of my relationships thrive and survive.
There are moments in my life when I tend to fill every possible second on things to do, people to be with, and checklists to check off. Then, more often than not, there are moments where I have time by myself, but I fill it with wasteful endeavors that leave my head shaking (yea, I’m talking about you internet and tv binge watching!). I suddenly wake up from my stupor and realize the waste I have made of that fleeting amount of precious time.
What do you do when you have some time all to yourself? Do you plan activities? Do you read? Do you listen to music? Do you frantically fill it because you don’t want to be alone?
I believe my mood Monday song, “Alone”, speaks more about the fear and frustration of a change or harsh ending to a relationship. Perhaps it describes the fear of being alone, no matter how bad the situation is. Nevertheless, it sure ignited my thoughts today.
“I am not alone
But I know I could be
This wave I ran from collapsed right in font of me
Now I’m drowning in these waves and I know that I shouldn’t be
But you drew blood with your final breath
and you wrote me out of history
When we collide we fall apart
And the memories, they’re just breaking me down
I am not alone
But I know I should be
You can’t hide the truth thats lost inside your transparency
Now I’m drowning in these waves and I know that I shouldn’t be
But I’m fighting a war that I just can’t win
Can you tell me why? Do you feel anything at all?
Anything
When we collide we fall apart
And the memories, they’re just breaking me
Down I fall, were we in love at all?
Baby see our lives crashing through these walls
When we collide we fall apart
And the memories, they’re just breaking me down.”
Zurich is an English rock band from Oxford, who play widescreen post-punk rock with a nod to the darker side of eighties electronic pop. The band members are Adrian Banks (Bass & Vocals), Chris Gillett (Guitar & Vocals) and Leigh Taylor (Drums & Samples). They have just finished working on a debut EP, Small Wars releasing on September 21st. The haunting depth of the lead vocals paired with the band’s ability to create a powerful tune, leaves me wanting more. This is a band to watch and I look forward to hearing what will come next.
Today, in my quiet moments of deep thought, I brainstormed my action plan for several new projects I have jumped into. I have been putting off the sincere focus necessary to accomplish a positive result. Now, after putting aside the time, I feel so much better. My anxiety has calmed and I am now stronger and more ready to attain my goals, and I even left room to do a little daydreaming.
My mood today? I am feeling sweet satisfaction, and it just took…time alone.
