Mood Monday…Damn.
Limits.
A limit is a silent quiet line that dances inside and then one day it rears its ugly head. My limits are pretty negotiable. I lose myself in caring for those around me, I ask, I listen, and I act often. Well and I say yes…a lot.
Then in a quiet low moment and fueled by random dramas swirling around me, I feel my limit. It bubbles up like an awful bile that can’t be suppressed in a new flu victim. Not just one thing occurs, but another and another, and another. The line for saturation is moved and rearranged and then without warning, you feel the gagging and drowning
So, before you know it, a normal conversation becomes a testy random toss of emotional vocabulary and interjections with no real substance. Your words are lost in emotion and sadness. Rational thoughts become wedged dangerously between reaction and response while completely lost on the listener. I wonder, does anyone really listen anymore? I mean really listen?
Regret.
You wish you could take it all back, but you hit your personal limit, your threshold of holding and keeping emotions and calm in check. Your humanity and sadness becomes aired and quite public. Why can’t people just get along with compassion, caring, and respect? Of course, I am reminded again of the obvious….everyone else always has MORE to deal with. But putting that aside for once, one can only take so much….
When will I ever learn?
Soy Christmas-Get Upset
Soy Christmas is a band out of Saint James, NY. How did they come up with that name and where in the heck is that? Could they be named after a popular soy Christmas candle, flickering a simple warm light? I tried to do a little Googling, but only found that Saint James is on Long Island. I find it kinda honestly raw to claim the little “hamlet” as the band’s hometown. It isn’t surprising when you hear their music. Their music is a raw, creative, bonanza of sound that roots itself in honesty, but also swirls a dreamlike cloud in my mind.
Especially today, as I listen and everything in my life seemed to take a nose dive. I will recover, because they are all just weird superficial wounds that will, cell by renewing cell, begin to repair.
Or not.
Music is a true healer for me. Soy Christmas’ song “Get Upset” found me when I needed it most. This tune creates an illusory world that understands me when no one else seems to even make a minimal effort. What begins as a simple guitar strum, moves to a conversational confession, and then shifts to a chorus of woos and powerful lyrics….
“I don’t trust anything
I can’t give back
and I feel your heart beating
I get upset
It’s unfortunate…”
As I finished hearing it for the millionth time, I can’t help but spill over and listen to their entire EP, Spent. Another must listen quick track is, “Envoy”, a one minute forty-seven second guitar driven, poetic folk song full of longing.
This EP is a sonic joy for my ears today. I am soothed, satisfied, and may even find a moment of slumber, despite my overworked thoughts, brain, and emotions.
I hope this blog finds you not needing the comfort I needed today, but Soy Christmas has a solid sound for anyone willing to explore, expand, and learn to breathe in deeply the important gasps of life-giving air.
In and Out.
In and Out.
In and Out.
Tomorrow is another day. The sun will come up, the alarm will go off, I will get dressed for work, and move on.
